I’m really trying to grow from this horrible day of nausea, bone pain and body aches. I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus and it feels better to just lay in a heap than to move. One more Chemo left you might cheer….. But on days like these one more chemo feels like a death sentence. To me it is like walking down the green mile into a torture chamber. All those who love you are walking you down for this horrible torture and there is no one to run to. You have given up hope for escape. I just have to obey and let it happen. It is twisted, but I have found everything involved with cancer is twisted.
Everyone will come to their own conclusions on what the meaning of life is for them. I think I have figured out a few for myself. One is to love. It is the most powerful tool we have each been given to use here on earth. Also experiences. We are here to experience things. We would never know the good if we didn’t have the bad. We couldn’t really cherish things unless we had felt loss. With everything we experience, our knowledge expands. We are able to find more depth to our souls through experiences. If we take time to really evaluate our own trials and triumphs in this, we will see how our lives have been molded by these experiences.
Hi Susan, I read your posts and still can not believe how incredibly strong you are. You inspire me, and I am sure many others with your courage and heart.