Adam May 15, 2008

Our little Adam was laying on the couch in our laps sounding out his name he was saying, “aaaaaaaaaa dummmmmm.” Then he looked up at Russ and I and in a very perplexed tone asked why we put Dumb in his name. I can tell you that Adam’s name was the hardest name we have ever picked. We didn’t have the name actually chosen until he was in our arms the night after he was born. I remember crying b/c I wanted so bad to have a name chosen b-4 he was born but Russ and I just couldn’t agree. We went into the hospital thinking he would be Alexander. So with that in mind you can imagine that I have never once thought of DUMB as part of Adam’s name. It would take a 5 year old to figure that out. My little Adam has no DUMB in him at all. He is very bright and so loving and creative. We just loving having out little Doggy Adam.

I hurt myself cancer May 13, 2008

We were discussing with Tyler what a blessing it was that we had Luke b/c we found out later I had cancer while pregnant with him.  It was a miracle I was able to carry him.  So then Russ and Tyler start talking about if that means Luke has cancer also.  Ty says, “Well Dad I think he has the cancer that makes him hurt himself.”  We chuckled because Luke has had so many tumbles, spills, running into, running overs, just too many to count.  That day Luke fell off the chair 3 times.  You think he would have learned after the first spill but NO he did it 3 times and manged to put his tooth through his lip.  He barley cried.  Then he was playing in our closet and ran his toe over with the sliding door cutting open his toe.  He had earlier in the week been running at the side of the house and ran smack dab into the BBQ making a moon shape on the side of his temple.  That was another day he didn’t cry very hard or long.  He is just so dang tough.  You can tell when he is hurt b/c he does whisper breathing like he is Lamaze breathing the pain away.  He is a handful of energy!  Tyler and he share the really HIGH pain thresh hold for pain.  Amazing Ty was 6 b-4 we had to go to the ER for staples.  Unfortunately for Luke he watches his older brothers do crazy things and he doesn’t realize he is only 2.  So he just goes for them as if he too were 7years old.  If you ever are bored you are welcome to take Luke for the day I guarantee it will be a day full of anything but boredom.

This is Luke’s moon shaped scab by his temple from the BBQ

These are pictures of Luke’s Lip he was upset b/c he wanted to have the camera.  You can see the mark outside where the tooth came through and the yucky white inside his lip where it went in.  Poor little guy!

Happy Mother’s Day May 11, 2008

I wanted to write a post about how lucky I am to have such wonderful Mother’s in my life. My Mom is the most loving warm fuzzy human being you have ever met. If you have ever met her you will agree. She has an amazing ability to make you feel at home and loved no matter who you are. She is so generous and if you ever need anything she will be the first person to offer you help. The past year my Mom was instrumental in my fight. I could not have done it with out her. She took over all my responsibilities and stepped up to the plate and just knew what needed to be done with out me asking. That is a hard task b/c I have a hard time asking for help so she just did it all with out me having to ask. My Mom had to watch her child suffer in ways a Mother should never have to see. But she weathered it like a champ. She was there to change bandages, take me to appointments, watch me throw up and curl up in a ball of pain. She always made me feel loved even when I tried to hide from her so she didn’t have to see the anguish I was in. I love my Mom more then any words can express! She is an angel and I’m lucky to have her in my life. You couldn’t have picked a better Mom to weather a storm with. When my Mom moved out a part of my heart broke. It is hard to let go of your rock. It has been a weird transition period trying to figure out how to be strong and independent while still longing for her help. My new found trial after cancer is learning to live a totally new life with out my Mom living here. She was here 3 years and my boys don’t remember ever living with out their Grammy and Papa. I guess every child in a way wishes (at least if they had my Mom they would) they could have their Mom close. Just know Mom that I love you even if you don’t live here.

My Mother-in-law Susan (a very nice name) is a wonderful Mother-In-Law. I’m lucky to not only have been blessed with one awesome Mom but 2. Susan is so kind and loving. She is the poster women of patience. She had 6 boys and one girl. I often wonder how she survived! I have 3 boys, including one that is a clone of her son – He alone keeps me on my toes. So how she managed 6 boys I still don’t know. She is always a beacon of faith and strength. I know her faith is unwavering in the most trying of times. She is very wise and is a wonderful example to me. She also loves unconditionally.  She just accepts and loves us no matter where we are in life. She was so wonderful to come out here to help me with the boys. I gained and amazing bond with her that I think comes when someone gives so much of themselves when serving another. It creates a relationship of great depth.

I will always cherish the past year b/c I was able to draw close to so many through my trial.

Happy Mother’s Day to EVERYONE!!!

Long time no Post May 11, 2008

You know when you get out of the habit of posting you then just don’t make time for it.  It is just like journaling.  I know I feel so much better when i write all my feelings and thoughts out I just have been wrapped up in life.  It has been a very fun and full couple weeks.  My little brother Kyle got married and we had a ton of b-days!  It has been a whirlwind of parties and celebrations.  As my birthday came around this year I had time to reflect how very different it was last year.  Here was my post from my birthday last year:

I think they can track me now….

Port-a-Cath

Then we get to my wonderful Mother’s Day last year:

My special day

It is amazing how blessed I feel to not have been poked or pricked by needles the past 3 weeks.  Just to be out running around and doing anything and everything with my kids.  On my birthday I was able to go to Pump It up with my son and climb in and out of an obstacle course, up a big slide, and best of all watch his delight to have Mommy playing with him.  It was a day full of fun with friends and family.  Mother’s Day is perfect b.c nothing hurt!  I feel wonderful and healthy and was able to just enjoy being spoiled by my hubby and boys.

Life is so precious and I’m so lucky to be alive!  I’m thankful every day that this year is so different from last year and I’m hear to enjoy it.  We have these amazing trials in life that can almost kill us.  Then we survive and life just seems sweeter.  I’m very lucky to have had the experience I have had.  I am able to look at life so much differently and appreciate things so much more b/c of it.   There really is something true about not  knowing true joy until we have experienced pain.   So if you are in the midst  of a really hard trial just know in the end you will be so much stronger for it.  Think of it as exercising: it’s hard and not fun (well for a lot of us), but the results in the end are worth it.